Dawn of Life

(Written by Angelica on July 10, 2017) 

"But I'm not going to see him for two years." I sobbed at the Orlando, FL airport the morning we left Chris's family. So it dawned on me, two years is a long-ass time. As a 33-year-old, two years felt like a drop in the bucket just a month ago; that's until I met my new nephew. Stefanie and Dan, my sister and brother-in-law, gave birth to him at the beginning of June (congrats again, guys!). Chris and I spent a week with them in Orlando three weeks after his birth. Never before have I been enchanted by the dawn of life that an infant possesses. During that week, I saw the rapid development of his eyesight and his curious/concerned stares of the world around him. Each day I held him in my arms for what seemed like hours on end, staring intensely into each other's eyes (or at least in each other's line of sight). That's it; he didn't smile at my jokes, he slept a lot, farted often, stared like nobody's business, he couldn't keep his head upright, and not at all impressed by my Spanish description of one evening's Puerto Rican dinner. He was a grunting, mumbling, crying, sleeping, snugly, absolutely loving baby. How's he going to be in the next few weeks, months...two years? I'm not going to see it, I'm not going to be here. 

"I'm not even his parent and I care about him so much...you just don't want anything to happen to him..." my voice cracks at the airport followed by a sob, whimper, whimper, sob, sob. "What the hell is happening to me, I'm not even a baby person!?" (I'm really not, I have fun with them and all, but babies don't really play my heart strings much, until now.) I stop and park my rolling suitcase while Chris hugs me incredulously. 

So it begins, the raw emotions that come with being away from the ones you love. I knew that this was going to be hard, especially with not seeing my mom, papi, Alejandra, and Meno (siblings) while we're away serving in the Peace Corps. But man, baby time multiplies like crazy. Just a few baby days are like adult months or even years. In just 72 hours, our nephew could now readily focus his eyesight towards the green baseball cap on my head; his eyebrows furrowed as he glared nonstop at the top of my head as if I was growing snakes for hair. No telling what the next 72 hours in his development would bring!

For the first time in my life, I witnessed the raw essence of humanity. We all come into the world the same way, with a mind and body ready to absorb what is around you -- vulnerable, fragile, in awe, in fear, and with limitless curiosity -- and dependent on those around you to provide tender love and care. We all start here. 

Now more than ever, I hope to support the babies in Peru that are getting their start in life and the families that support their healthy upbringing in this world. May this dawn of our Peace Corps life allow me the great honor and blessing, el gran honor y bendicion, to do such a thing. 

"I'm going to be a f**** wreck when I'm a mother," I said out loud, wiping my tears. We both laugh loudly, clasp hands, and continue walking to our gate.

“…your eyes remind me of a time before this life

Back to a dream when evil did cease

As the dawn of time.” – Rebelution, Dawn of Time lyrics